What a Wonderful World

This is my little brother Arif, I make this sketch about a year ago

Hi there, it's been a while..

These past few months has been hard for me and my family. So many unfortunate things happen, and we've been struggling so much to get back to our feet. When I'm sad, I suddenly remember, that I've spent most of my teenager time to think about magical things like time, space, fate, & destiny. I kept thinking whether or not, every single thing that happen in my life has been predicted, even a single blink of my eyes, and a tiny hair that falling off my skin? What about every thought and everything goes in or out of my mind, is it truly free, as I can think of anything I want and no one will hear it? I keep thinking that this life is too wonderful to be a coincidence, too amazingly complex to be popping out of exploding atom as the big bang theory said, or even too suddenly advance to be originated from Oparin's primordial soup, and even the relativity of time that countable by Einstein's equation often feels so different in every situations. Do you believe in numbers, or believe in your feelings of your very heart? Then why do you think we are deserve to be measured by numbers, for years we've spent at school, and think that it's a fair educational system for the rest of our life? Yes I hate schools too, to be honest. But I love Biology and Physics so much :p.

I wonder why I interested so much in science at the first place, my families has no background in science. Just my genius little brother, Arif, he got gold medal for Biology Olympiad when he was at high school. I remember he said it was a coincidence, because Chemistry was actually his favorite subject. When he said he was going to learn Biology for the Olympiad, I brought him to my University's Library, and I borrow a few Biology books there. I borrow a few super thick books, including the infamous Campbell, and he read of those books at once. He don't take notes, he don't babbling to memorize, and he never forget what he have read. When he was a child, he said that he wanted to be an inventor. I remember when we were in a kindergarten, he was able to build a radio, and created a small fan from his battery powered toys. One day, still at kindergarten, he was skipped school. I cant find him anywhere, and I was going to cry like crazy. But suddenly he crawled out of the pile of pillow and blanket at the bed, still in his uniform, & said he was asleep while hiding there. He said that he hates school because the teacher told him to sing and drawing rain everyday, he said it was boring and stupid. Social interaction seems very hard for him. But I'm sure he's fine now. Maybe I just missing him so much that I always remember how genius he is. Well I see so many people wish to be a genius, but I believe every people is born to be a genius in their own ways. For example, my brother can't play guitar or drawing as good as I do, and I cant memorize things as good as him. But actually it's unfortunate for me as a scientist wannabe (lol), I always wish that I have half of his genius and get a good grade :p. I know we cant buy a genius brain, but at least we can still buy books and learn the genius way to use our brain, hehehe :p    

Speaking of my favorite topics, Science, if the scientist finally find the theory of everything, do you think they can explain everything that happen in the Universe? But I think the real question is, do you really care about it? Not for the hardest question on earth such as how to combine quantum mechanics and general relativity, but only for anything that happen in our life right now. Even if it makes sense that someone will eventually die for being old and suffering from diabetes, just like my beloved Grandma, but still it might not make any sense at all for the family that left behind, for me. I will always ask, why us? Why her? Why can't it helped? Why can't we go back in time, and reverse what happen? Would you please find the equation that can calculate every possibilities that can be happening, and shows that the best thing and the only thing that supposed to happen is that my grandmother died, and nothing I can do about it. Even if there is a multiverse in every version that we can ever imagine, we know for sure there's only one thing that will happen in the future. Always one, no options, no chance to go back, and that's the way this world goes. That's why I keep thinking that this life is a certainty, so the future must be predictable, but not by us. Let's say, if you mix toxic metal Natrium with poisonous gas Chloride, will it become an edible table salt? Is there any possibilities for Na+Cl to become a poisonous sugar? If you say no, don't you think you are now able to predict one tiny future of Natrium when it meets Chloride, with a certain condition. But wait, what if the flask you're using has a crack and it exploded, or you accidentally pour some water on the Natrium? Will it burn your hands? or maybe not? 

Then again, we see that life is too complex to be predicted, but also consist of tiny predictable chemical reactions that give us hopes to decide what to do next for our life. Is that somehow gives you a headache? Or you don't even care about it at all? So what about the entropy, the gravity, the string theory, the super tiny electron and the super big galaxy? Do you ever think about them as a part of what happen in our life, or the possibilities that they might affecting our mind and heart? Or we might just see what we want to see, because the reality of the world seems so different when we are trying to see something very big, or very small. Is it maybe because we are the one who creates the tools, such as the electron microscope and the giant Hubble telescope, while our eyes as a gift from nature have a very specific purpose and limitation. So, do you agree with Einstein, that we are somewhat like a man trying to understand the mechanism of a closed watch? 

When I was a child I always imagine that if somehow I have a super brain that can calculate so many variables that connected in my life, I'm pretty sure that I might be able to predict my future, your future, even this world future. But then I think again, if it so, life will be too boring. I might suddenly loosing my mind for worrying the future too much, or scare of something before it happens, therefore I will neglecting my present time. Then I'll be the most pathetic creature in the universe :p

So many things happen in my life that I regret, and so many things that I wish I can undone. But so many wonderful things happens after that, therefore I think there's nothing in this world happens without meaning, and nothing to regret because we never know what tomorrows bring. Well, I can babbling randomly like this for hours like no body care, but I hope I can write something that make sense as a human being.. lol

This is me (right) and my dear sister in law (left), Lia. Lately I've been thinking of posting more family pictures and vacations too. What do you think? Thank you so much for reading. Wishing you a wonderful happy day, everyday, for the rest of your life ^^